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’ Sophie said after they’d gotten Maria safely inside her unit in the retirement village, ‘God does my mother love you. Having you two together is a real scream.’ ‘Rarely have I met an older woman with so much character and liveliness as your mother.’ ‘You have to be joking.’ There was silence. Sophie said, ‘Omigod, sorry. Obviously you were serious.’ ‘Sophie my mother died of a\blockage of the lung artery when I was sixteen and I have no idea where my father is. You might like to think about truly appreciating your mother while you still have her.’ ‘Oh but I do, we get along very well. Truly we do.’ ‘But she wants to be teased and spoken to firmly at times and to FEEL that you love her.’ Sophie drove along, feeling the tears coming and then a soft tissue was pressed against her hand on the wheel nearest Roxy. ‘Thanks darling,’ Sophie sniffed, dabbing her eyes. ‘I don’t know how but you’ve got it.’ ‘Got what?’ ‘It’s not something to worry your pretty head about.’ ‘This something you. A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a family nude beach...As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is'Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to playShortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother :"Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."This one is compliments of Gary:Guy sits in the patent office all day waiting to see the main guy to get his product patented. Finally, at almost closing time, the secretary tells him that he can go in.The boss apologized about having him wait as long as he did, but explained that.
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