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"We?", god, I am a nut I guess. We walked past my room, Beaudy was between us, to the kitchen. We cleaned and put away then went in and sat on either end of the sofa and turned on the TV. There was nothing worth watching and she asked if I would like a scotch. I said yes and she turned it off and went to the kitchen. I watched her walk away, having inappropriate sexy thoughts, then lay back and closed my eyes. I heard her set my drink down and I mumbled, "thank you" and she walked away. My life has changed a few times. Major changes, and I would become a new person or get something, life. That night my entire world was destroyed and another built around me in an instant. I didn't hear anything for a few minutes and when I finally opened my eyes she was standing in front of me holding two of the pictures from the hall. One of Morgan asleep just before they had taken the baby, cleaned up and beautiful with the monitors attached. The one I stole. The other of Boadicea, that wrinkled. It’s OK.”He nodded and left the room again. Things were decidedly NOT OK. But I didn’t know what to do.“Jos, you know I love you. You know I’ll commit to you right here, right now, and never look at another woman. If you tell me to get up and walk out and never come back, I’ll do that, too. It’ll kill me, but I’ll do it. That’s how much I love you.”“I know,” she said softly. “I love you, too. But not like that. Not yet.”That was a punch in the gut which told me everything I needed to know. Jos and I were done, at least in the short term. Certainly as lovers. Maybe even as friends. Maybe forever. Going without seeing her for over two months would be the most painful thing I’d ever done. Even more than talking to Liz’s doctor or Doctor Hart. And it would change our relationship in ways nobody could predict, if not completely destroy it. I felt as if I was in a runaway stagecoach heading for a gorge.“I should go,” I said in a calm voice that belied my increasingly foul mood. “Call me if.
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