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” DING! DING! DING! WHEW! Round over. Never have I been so glad to hear that bell in my life! I now know first hand how it feels to be saved by the bell. I mean, how am I to answer that question?? I sure as hell ain’t gonna lie to her, but telling her the whole truth could be fatal for me. By that I mean she’d probably turn tail and run. Honestly. Let’s face reality here. What in the world would a young, sweet, sexy lady like her even want with an old fart like me that is probably more than twice her age? I know that the mere concept of her ‘wanting’ me is strictly the output from my fantasy fueled brain extrapolating the most improbable (but most enjoyable) of all possible scenarios to taunt me with. Still, if I know her as I think I do, she’ll let that question lay there at my feet, tormenting me for several days. Then, when I least expect it, she’ll walk quietly up behind me, squat down, reach between my legs and grab the question without me detecting her. Then, she’d probably. It was time to do something else," I said. I was hoping she wouldn't push it. I hoped in vain. "Oh, and what else might that be, Bruce?" she said. Okay, I guess I had to lay it out there. I hadn't gotten to where I was, in real life, being a pussy. "Look, Sam, the truth is that that da . . ." "Michael asking me out kinda messed us up. Huh?" she said. "Well, since you put it out there. Yeah," I said. "I mean I'm not blind or stupid. He's young like you, not bad looking, and knows how to be with, well, the ladies. I, on the other hand, am considerably older than you, not very good looking, and a klutz when it comes to the ladies. What's to choose? It's gotta be him coming in first. Me? A distant second in that particular two horse race." She gave me a smile that screamed disgust. "Jesus, this is worse than I thought. What are you, Bruce, a sophomore in high school!" she said. "You never gave me reason to believe that you felt so strongly. Yes, you invited me to a company barbecue..
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