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She gave me a small kiss, then we got up and I walked her home.The next day I went to see Linda, and she was alone. We spent several minutes kissing, then she brought me to her room. She cuddled in my arms and I went over the high points of my talk with Holly.“Yea, I kinda get it, ya know? I don’t think what she feels for me is sexual, it’s more like a feedback thing. She knows I enjoy things, and that pleasure in me is what gets to her, not really being with me I guess. I admit, I melted inside when she kissed me and touched me. But, it’s not really sexual, ya know? It’s hard to say the difference in words.”I then mentioned trying the kissing game with just Peggy and Mandy, and she shook her head no. “No, Holly’s right. That wouldn’t work the same way. I could kiss Peggy, but you could not. And if you did, it would be Mandy and I just cuddling. It’s a dynamic that would be hard to make work, I think.”Then her eyes got big. “There might be a way, I’m gonna have to think on that, and. The more I neglected one, the more the other suffered. To the extent, that in my feeble attempts to gain both, I lost both. My wife and I had been childhood sweethearts. You know, I can't even remember asking her to marry me, it was just sort of assumed we would end up together, both families got on well, and we sort of just fell into it.It wasn't that I didn't love her, but it was a quiet, unassuming love, not the blinding passionate type that Hollywood seems to dwell on. I felt comfortable with her, she felt like my soul mate, and when she eventually had the courage (and good sense) to walk out on me, I fell apart.Mum was my saviour. I had to sell up everything I had to pay divorce proceedings and business debts, and she immediately insisted that I stay with her. I had very little options. Having my own room was a lot more attractive that dosing on some friends sofa.I stared at the ceiling again, wondering how many 38 year olds lived at home with their mum, not many I was willing.
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