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At the same time, he was mentally picking the color and degree of transparency of the negligee she would be wearing for him, against all voices reasoning he should not expect anything like that from a mother who was, for all he knew, married.She would never invite him in and even if she did, he would politely decline; he had been over this scenario countless times in the past few hours. Go there, deliver the brat, say bye, end of story. And should she ask him to stay, even just for a coffee, he'd just excuse himself and show he had his desires under control. Yeah! Sounded about right. Totally legit! Piece of cake. No problem to pull off... unless she'd really be wearing that negligee. “Naïve doofus,” he cursed himself under his breath.When he finally pulled up her driveway, his ears were ringing from the constant acoustic pressure. It was only when he heard his momentary tinnitus start predominating Michael's screaming that he realized the boy had somewhat reduced his volume. His. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.The Beer DumpNasty! Depends upon the dumper's tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn't matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle's heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a Japanese Flag".The Empty Roll DumpRelief - you've finished and reach for the tissue.
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