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This party, was a party that took place in the woods. The kind of party where anything goes, the one where you don't know where your going to sleep. I had brought my truck out to our usual spot. Had to turn into this old abandoned farmhouse, used to be my uncle's land but ever since his passing it was sort of left to the family to take care of. Anyways, turning in, you could see the trail back into the woods that led to a nice little spot that my father and I cleared out. Loaded with the basics, two coolers full of beer, three packs of cigarettes and a friend of mine. I was followed in by the convoy of trucks and beater cars. With a fire lit, and my truck stereo blasted, everyone was feeling loose. Now, when I say everyone, I only mean about ten or fifteen people. But we were all close friends. Now as I got to my eleventh beer, I was starting to get flirty, as I always do when I drink. And for some reason my friend Isabella, who we call Bella for short, was starting to really. " But. But." The Cardinal appeared on the verge of tears."They're pacifists!" Whoa, that's right, Cardinal Loser. You got fourconscientious objectors. But, so you don't go awaycompletely empty-handed, we're going to throw in fourLaserInt SGS Satellite Guidance Pocket Pens, one for eachof your Society Of Friends conscripts. These handy itemscan sign Papal Bulls one day and point at a soon-to-be-vaporized Mormon the next. They're portable. They'rereliable. And they come with an extended warranty againstleaking and targeting the wrong leader of the truereligion! Cardinal Pederast, you haven't just got yourselfsome Quakers. You've got yourself the finest writinginstruments developed by the military-industrial complex!" I think I'm converting to the Cult of Anubis," mutteredthe Cardinal before the attendants whisked him from thestage."Aren't we all?" joked the MC. "Aren't we all?"The next segment was ready to begin in exactly the time ittook to show four 30-second spots. Three of the four.
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