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I had drowned myself in work when Mark left, determined to carry out the plans that we had started before the brunette with the boobs had captured his attention and he left me high and dry, and if I was completely truthful, broken. I had blocked out things like sex and love because they were a distraction and, honestly, what were the chances of me ever finding something like that again and ending up with my heart intact? I was only 27 but I suddenly felt like an old woman looking back at her life and thinking about all of the missed chances. ‘I’m not joking.’ His hand dropped and his fingers curled around my bare calf, the callused pad of his thumb stroking my sensitive skin. ‘You could do better than me. I want you real bad, though, and I care about you. A lot.’ I stood abruptly, my heart hammering in fear that he was lying and in hope that he was not. ‘You don’t have to tell me that, Eric. What? You find yourself in the mood and figure I would be an easy target? Then just come. As I walked to the restrooms, I could hear the table erupt in laughs, and I knew, I just knew they were laughing at me. That was ok with me, them laughing at me. That I could handle, and handle well. It came from years of practice. But them acknowledging my lack of love life, and the reasons why, only affirmed the inadequacies I had, and it grew into a huge ball of insecurity in the pit of my stomach. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, ashamed now that I had worn what Matt had wanted me to, and let that influence how I was acting, especially towards Brad and his friends. Just as I had made the decision to resist Brad and steel my resolve towards the therapist’s oath I had made, I saw his blonde head peeking around the door of the women’s restroom. I stared in disbelief as he looked up, caught my eye and grinned naughtily. ‘What are you doing?’ I asked, laughing. ‘Looking for you,’ he said matter-of-factly. I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow, waiting for further explanation..
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