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" No, my dear young ladies! I won't say a word to your parents - except that you dropped in on me and you're both fine - which you are. Cross my heart and hope to die! Wish I could be going with you both - but Doctor's Orders and all that. Got to watch the old ticker. Staying to lunch - what! Course you are. Hang on - be with you in a tick."And he went to the door and called out. "Two guests for lunch, Emily. See what you can rustle up - there's a good girl." My housekeeper and cook," he explained.Jessica glanced at a photograph of the General and a lady standing by his side. He followed her glance and his brisk, cheery manner deserted him for a minute."My darling wife Olivia. Been dead ten years now. Met her when we were both just kids and it was love at first sight for us both. Never stopped loving each other - never any one else for either of us. The pain never goes away, not even after all these years - you just learn to live with it." So sorry, Teddy," said Gwendoline.The General. A Walmart Greeter or an assistant in the Women’s Jean Dept. I just wanted to tell you myself, just in case your wives or girlfriends come to Walmart to try on jeans.Kinda enjoyed my first day on the job. Now I’m thinking about making it ‘full time’ employment!We all grow old in the end... I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.The biggest lie I tell myself is...”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We.
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