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Right?" Yes, I do, Steven. I do. Not like with you, in so, so many ways, but... Well, it's just very different. My whole life has changed so quickly, it just -- I don't know how to explain it, and this isn't the time to try, but... Steven... sweetheart, I hope this doesn't... You know how much I care about you. I've been -- hon, I've been so worried! I sat up late on the phone with Ronnie, to her boyfriend's place, for hours. Hours. And she sounded so surprised, so worried. She was -- I mean, she seemed so distraught, she kept saying I was going away, she kept saying she'd never see me again. And I kept telling her no, no, it was still me, I'd always be her friend. Always. I couldn't believe she was so upset. And I kept telling her, 'But Ronnie, you found somebody and it didn't stop us, it didn't cut us off.' You know, our friendship just went back to where it was before last summer, back to where it always was. And that hasn't changed. She had new responsibilities, but it didn't. " I managed to finally stammer.I don't quite remember later why I had left the room but when I headed toward his bedroom again later I saw he had his jockeys back on and a white t-shirt. I was kinda disappointed."Hehe. I was kind of k**ding back there. You know how I am sometimes."Knowing he is NOT that way at all around me I just nodded, pretending he was always that way.It seemed like the darkness outside lasted forever. It was only 10:30 as I wrestled with the many raging thoughts that made me frustrated about my choices and also gave me a raging blood-engorged penis.I was downstairs in the living room. I wish he would give me another chance, I thought. He had to. Why didn't I just find out what he wanted to do? What if he just wanted to hang out? Nah. He probably wanted me to jerk him off which was actually a dream of mine! Ooh. Would have liked to feel his prick slide up and down and slip in and out of my fingers, making sure I got my thumb to bump his frenulum every time (I.
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