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Aconvoluted tale of pain and longing. Baffled indecision and gradualsubmersion as reality took hold. Marriage, disillusionment. Loss andsolitude, leading to... a possibility. A chance to be. An experimentthat should the night prove a failure would lead to... extinction. At that his eyes cracked open and he almost snarled, " Do not surrenderyourself to the expectations of others. You must be yourself and live. Isee a woman that has heart and soul. More than many of the thousandsthat surround us here in this place on the cusp of a New Year. A dawn ofpossibilities. Be a new arrival, an immigrant. Seek your place amongstthose that might scoff or scorn what they do not know. Do not... justgive up!" He was taken by a fit of coughing that knocked him back and left himgasping as she tried to offer water and comfort. After some minutes he sipped and smiling relaxed again. They sat and talked of nothing from time to time. As it drifted closerto that moment when old became new. A minute or two. Or they think he was. He was fourteen. He was my twin.’‘God,’ I said.‘One minute you’re here and then: snap.’ ‘That must have been awful.’Anna sighed. ‘Some good things came from it. Seize the moment, you know.’She’d taken my hand and was drawing her thumbnail back and forth over my palm. ‘You know what I don’t like? People telling me to treasure memories of him. They’ve no idea how horrible it is. To be responsible for memories crumbling.’‘You need to stop and share them with someone.’She turned. ‘I knew you’d understand. One day we'll share our memories about this week.’‘Sure,’ I said, casually. 'If you ever want to.' This was a while ago, of course. Things move on. We change.I no longer have a boyfriend. It didn’t happen straight away; I never told him about Anna: I’m a coward. But it was amicable, as they say after expensive divorce cases. We still speak to each other.Life’s too short.I have a girlfriend now. It took a while. It was a thing to get used to.A few days ago we went.
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