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..meth? Nah, surely not. Dusk was falling, and the mesquitos were coming out when he suggested we go into his motor home.I was apprehensive but agreed.I was pretty certain he would want to fool around and didn\'t know how I would respond. Not that I would be indignant, I just didn\'t know.After inside, he was eager to show me his plush accomidations. Upon entering the sleeping area, he realized I had noticed that in the resessed head board area sat a small glass of water, a spoon and a syringe. So as to relieve his ensuing panic I told him I was no big deal.Years ago, I would sometimes do coke that way.Then he asked if I had ever done meth that way. No I said. So he asked if I'd like to try some with him. Nervous,only at the prospect of using a needle again,reluctantly I agreed.He went to the front,locked the door and returned with a second spoon.From under the mattress he retrieved a rather large amount of crystal meth.He then put what I thought to be alot in one of the spoons."you. That would be well over total number.”“You didn't back check all those requests little man!” Santa now screaming. “Do you know how many sets of twins I ran into? Do you have any idea how many girls wanted to go around-the-world with Santa? Not to mention the 27 all girl dormitories where you scheduled stops. Then the most surprising of all, was the eleven retirement homes!”All the elves just stood in silence.Using air-quotes, “There were all kinds of “Girls” waiting on me! Love sick teenagers, neglected house wives, widows, retirees, librarians, school teachers, executives, elected officials, fitness trainers, and, I might also add, there were 23 Dominatrix's! I even stopped at a couple of places that were having a swinger's Christmas party!”The programming elf is now more frightened by every detail Santa relates to him.“I have had sex in every imaginable position tonight!” Then, counting down on his fingers, “Missionary! Doggy Style! Cowgirl! And, a few I had never imagined!”A cold.
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