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When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.Up to the window I sprang like an elf,Tore back the shade while she played with herself.The moon on the crest of the snowman we’d built,Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.When what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.Sure as I’m speaking, he was as high as a kite.And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree,Quit shaking the sleigh, ‘cause I gotta go pee.They cleared the old lamp post; the tree got a rub,Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,When. “Well, I’ll be damned if he wasn’t there. I saw him as soon as we walked in but didn’t dare say anything. So far Harry and I were having a good time. Until, that is, Terry came up and asked me to dance.” “He didn’t,” said Cathy shocked at the gall of this guy. “Oh yes he did and what made matters worse is, he ignored Harry. In fact, he was down right rude. Harry got his back up against the wall and gave me an ultimatum saying I couldn’t dance him. Well, you know stupid me, then I got angry and said I was going to dance with him anyway. Harry told me he wouldn’t be there when we got back off the dance floor, but people say things like that all the time, who believes them?” Cathy could see Linda’s eyes welling up as she continued. “Of course Terry held me real close on the dance floor and was literally rubbing his cock into me. I was a little worried that Harry was watching us and was going to be even more pissed. When the dance was over we went back to the table but Harry wasn’t even.
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