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I‘ve watched him carefully manicure his lawn every Saturday for years. He is very good looking with his brown skin glistening in the sun. So good looking that I often have to grab my dildo while watching him. I wonder if he notices that I‘m having a hard time refraining from touching myself now as we talk. “Well there’s your problem right there, most of your commercial weed killers are more harmful to your lawn than the weeds.” “You mean to tell me he’s been wasting hundreds of dollars to ruin my lawn?” I asked incredulously. A small smile plays across his lips as he says, “Don’t be too upset, most people don’t realize what they’re doing. I’ll give you a little known secret. What you need to do is to pour a small amount of regular white vinegar on every patch every day. Give it a try and let me know if you like the results.” A few weeks later my lawn was already looking better than it had in years. “I couldn’t believe it was that simple” I told Bill over his fence. “Very few people. “Limousine?” She sputtered when she could talk again. “Why are we getting a limousine?”“We’re going out, aren’t we?” I replied as if it were a no-brainer. “We should be comfortable.”She was looking at me suspiciously, now, through slitted eyes. Her lips were pursed. “Alright, who are you, Jake London? Some sort of undercover millionaire or something?”“I wish,” I replied, draining the last of my beer. “I’m just a guy whose luck has turned around lately, that’s all.”“Oh? Do tell.”Shit. What to tell her? I decided I wasn’t ready to tell her about Dianne and that whole situation, so I made up the best lie I could think of on the spot. “My uncle passed away recently, and he left me the apartment, plus a few other luxuries.”“Oh, Jake, I’m sorry to hear that.” She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. Her touch was electric, even through my shirt.“I didn’t really know him,” I added. That should cover me having to make up more lies than I could keep track of. “But he didn’t have any.
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