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Now, well, this one might be the tricky one.’ She did that look she does when she wants a real favour. Lilly had once rescued me from Penzance when I had broken an ankle. It was true that she arrived in a bloody Land Rover, probably the least comfortable way to travel four hundred miles with a leg in plaster but since, as she explained, ‘I feel a complete tit driving the Rolls,’ I could hardly complain. Consequently, I had no option but to agree, pretty much no matter what she wanted. ‘As my “Best Woman” you will, naturally be required to make a speech.’ ‘Christ, Lilly, couldn’t I just carry you to the register office on my shoulders on a unicycle?’ ‘Now, it’s odd you should mention that.’ I assumed she was joking but she continued. ‘When the Hon Peregrine Horsefall, for such is Perry’s real name, poor blister, was up at Oxford and before he joined up he and I had a bit of a fling. He was a complete arse of course but yummy. Anyway, for a dare he rode a unicycle along the precinct. My job included various tasks from answering the phone to making copies to even helping out with the lesson plans of the teachers. My third year there a new policy was implemented in that after school detention was now allowed for the students involved in minor problems. Usually the teachers picked straws on who would run it the one day a week but none of them wanted to. It was proposed that the aides, of whom there were three of us, should be allowed to handle the detention. The other two aides were not interested but it was extra money for me so I volunteered. This story is about one of those times.I guess now would be a good time to describe myself. My name is Janice; I am 36 years old, brunette and am overweight. Unfortunately most of my extra pounds are around my belly, neck, and in my breasts. My husband doesn't mind and loves the size of my boobs, being that they are 48D in size, but I wish they were smaller. Of course with their size it's kind of hard to keep them under wraps.
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