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How was I able to be so brazen and hold it? I don’t know, but it must have been something in his eyes that captured me and rendered me useless to fight the urges I knew I shouldn’t be having. How had I even got myself into that situation? I don’t know. Well, actually that’s a lie. It had started when he approached me. I’d been taking a deep drag on my cigarette, while I stood outside in the cool night air. The music from inside the pub was spilling out from the darkness through the open doors. I moved slightly to the beat. “I bet your boyfriend‘s good looking, isn’t he?” It took me a second to register the guy standing next to me was talking to me. In my inebriated state it took my brain even longer to form a response. “Yeah, he is. He’s alright.” Why did I add that last bit? He turned away and held his heart like he had just been shot, before he looked at me. It was the first time I locked eyes with him. He said, “Aww, that means you’re not single, but then I’m not surprised. He was devastated by the loss of his wife of 30 plus years, and was never the same after she passed. He left us about 6 months after she did. As I was, Bev was an only child. The only benefit out of the whole mess was we were able to be debt free except for a small mortgage remaining on the house. Truth be told, we’d rather have had the debt than lose our parents. I had a bear of a week. My team called me in Sunday to troubleshoot a problem, and then all week I was working from early morning until around 10:00 at night. I hardly saw Bev during that time, at least awake, I was just too tired and she was usually in bed by the time I got home. In the morning I was gone before she was awake. I’d get home, eat something or other and go to bed, get up early and the whole thing would start again. So it was on that fateful Friday. We’d been married about 3 years when that world and everything I valued came to an end. I came home from work late Friday evening, as I had all week, to find that.
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