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Although, I guess that means I also wouldn't be regularly sleeping insome kind of cursed bunk bed. But by never saying anything, I just sortof dug a hole that got deeper and deeper with each passing day.It's not like I'm one of those 'nice guys' on the internet that complainabout being friend-zoned; it's not like I was just being nice to her sothat one far away day she'd have sex with me. Her friendship helped meget through high school and I'm thankful for that. But still, I do havethis deeper longing, and my feelings are deeper than friendship.If I had told her back when I first felt those deeper feelings, wouldanything be different? Would I have had a chance to be her boyfriend? OrI was I always doomed to be her platonic girlfriend? Maybe she formed heropinion of me as feminine back when we first met."You're somewhere else," Beth said to me."Oh, sorry," I said."Come on," she said. "Surely it's not that bad being a girl?" No, of course not. It's just...different." Hmm," Beth said. "I. I looked up at Tricia with some concern and asked, “How are YOU doing?” I asked seriously. “You’ve had a pretty rough day, listening to all that.”She nodded. “It wasn’t so bad as all that. I know you didn’t do any of what she was talking about. It was hard to listen to her say them, but it’s because she’s not well, right? Once she starts talking to her new doctor, she’ll start to recover.”“Hopefully,” I said. “Recovery isn’t always an easy road to travel. She could be years before she can face what happened that night and separate it from what happened here Friday in her head.”“When she does recover, are you going to forgive her?” she asked.“I’ve already forgiven her,” I said. “It’s just more harm done by Marlene and the Watermans. Hopefully when she recovers, she’ll be in good enough condition to accept what happened and move on.”“What do you mean?” she asked.“Some recoveries are messier than others,” I said and pulled off my shirt. I pointed to the scar on my chest. “Relatively.
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