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It's bad enough normally, but it's hell at this time of year. You are constantly reminded of what you are missing out on. Christmas, it is said, is a time for giving; it is actually a time of realisation - a realisation of what you are missing, what you have lost and where you are heading. And I missed everyone, had lost everything and was heading nowhere.Do you know what it is like to talk to no one day in, day out? It's a nightmare, after a few days you start talking to yourself. Eventually you start going quietly mad, if you let it. To make matters worse, as soon as you become homeless, you become invisible. So no one talks to you and no one looks at you. You cease to exist. Christmas just makes it worse. But there is one good thing about Christmas. There are usually shelters set up for a few days where you can stay and get a good meal. I usually stick to soup; it's all I can manage these days. I sought one such shelter out and attempted to 'book' a place."We're not open until. The visions still shooting through my mind. I grabbed a couple of other books and started reading through them. One was a large one someone like a sexual "Dear Abby" for gay men. As I read about what men did to each other and how their bodies reacted, I couldn't help but get more and more curious. A desire to experience gay sex started growing, not just a fantasy. It wasn't long before I came again. It was a long night as I kept masturbating and cumming. I looked at the clock and it was after 4 am. I had just cum a 6th time and had no idea how late it was. I cleaned up and tried to get a few hours sleep. I heard their alarm go off at 8 am. I laid there a bit thinking about the night before, morning wood in my hand. As they went down stairs I got up and slipped on my gym shorts and a tee shirt. I didn't cum as I wanted to save myself for later. As I stepped out the hall way, it is hard to explain but I was extremely horny, catching a whiff of the smell of fresh cum.
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