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Several times Cindy asked if I was ok.Finally, I told her quietly I was having lady challenges. I think she assumed something had gone wrong with Kyle and me. It was all I could think of to say and it seemed to explain to her why I was acting differently. That was all that mattered. As far as I was concerned, I convinced myself this had been way too soon to come back here. Maybe in time I would feel comfortable in similar circumstances again, but it would take a lot more time.Looking back, this trip to the mall was the first recognition of big changes in my life. It was the first time I realized things would never be the same. I was a different person; I was no longer the young carefree innocent virgin. I was a very shameful, immoral woman. My concept of myself had changed more than I can describe and there was no way back to anything I had before.I thought I had a firm grasp on things and could get back to normal, but that just was not the case. My new “normal” had to be recognized.. Pouring herself a glass of water, Jill wandered back into the bedroom and tried to interest herself in her homework, but began dozing off before she got through the fifth page. Standing up, Jill wandered back into the kitchen to refill her glass and paused in the kitchen to drink it. Giving up on the day as a lost cause, Jill wandered back and flopped down on the bed. Moments later, she was fast asleep once more.Staci headed back to the mall and parked her car again. Grumpy now because Jill was no longer with her, she walked into the mall. Staci wandered around for a while, but it wasn't the same without someone to shop with or for. She wandered into a few stores and after thirty minutes, decided that there was nothing she was really interested in buying, so she wandered back out to her car and drove off.Staci drove around for a bit before meandering into the video store. She didn't really have anything else to do and had wanted to spend the whole day with Jill, but apparently Jill.
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