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Don't even TALK to me about concealer, okay? Like, don't even go there. I can't wear makeup - X-ray and Heat Vision are HELL on mascara. Nothing will hide this thing anyway, except a bag over my head. I wish I could just stay home. That's it, just stay home with a quart of Ben and Jerry's, and hide for four days, and then come out again when it's over. But I'm just too horny and this guy is HUGE - I mean, he's big and strong and HUGE - and I really need something huge!I'm not hideous, right? I don't scare little kids, and I don't break mirrors, but I can't get lucky to save my life, and I'm pretty damned frustrated right now.My first date? Middle school - the Winter Dance. I got all dressed up, and I got in the backseat of Mr. Carver's Buick with Fred Carver. What does the weasel do? Grab my tit. I grabbed his hand and broke all his fingers.Some Winter Dance - the whole night we were at the emergency room, and Mr. Danvers and Mr. Carver were yelling at each other.In high school, Joe. Her feet, still wearing the same pink flipflops she wore around the house, swung happily from under the stool. I could see the twinkle from her braces as her lips parted for another big cheesy smile of hers. The bartender brought over some greasy salty appetizers and two pints of light beers without even so much of a request for ID.After just a few sips of beer, you could see her skin beginning to turn flush. Ruby's speeches became more frenetic as her tipsiness began to affect her memory and focus. As much as I wanted to hear more of her stories (I really didn't), I finally excused myself to take the opportunity to get what I really came here for. On the way to the restroom, I tried to pay the bartender in one swift motion as if to guise any suspicious behavior.-Upon entering the restroom, I could already hear the echos of men grunting and groaning from both directions. Thanks to the sloppy construction that demolished the wall which separated male and female restrooms, the long row.
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