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I had no desire to lose my wife or family, and felt bad for even entertaining thoughts of “what if” and fantasies about an ex who wasn’t even an ex! What had happened between Ruth and I was woven into the tapestry of who and what sort of man I was today. I wouldn’t change that for a second. Yet my mind persisted, wondering what might have been if I’d only realized that Ruth was scared of physical intimacy. She was afraid of losing me as a friend if we didn’t carry our relationship further, and had told me as much when I confessed my feelings of love for her. Ruth had become dependent, almost addicted, to our special brand of friendship with benefits. Did she live in constant fear that I would one day stop being her friend and thus stop providing her with the shelter and convenience of a virtual relationship? Did she ever fully realize that I would have done anything for her, on any level, if only she could love me back in kind? I wondered. I had determined years ago that the problem. Time slowed. She felt his shaft swell and pulsate in her mouth. Her experience told her he was about to blow like a volcano. She enjoyed every stroke. The thought she was in complete control aroused her all the more.Then it hit her. “Am I really in control?” she wondered as she continued to bury his large shaft between her lips. She pulled her mouth off of him and looked up.“Aaaghh!” he cried out, “don’t stop, I’m going to cum. I’m going to cum!”“Am I really in control?” she asked seductively as she watched the agony on his face.“If you have to ask, then maybe you aren’t sure yourself,” he quipped.She stood up next to him and let her dress slip to the floor. He moaned admiringly at her perfect round breasts, flat stomach, tight ass and long fishnet covered legs leading to the two inch stilettos. She walked around his desk to the purse she left next to the chair. She reached in and pulled out four leather straps she brought for just such an opportunity. She cleared the few papers.
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