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Whether it was my maturation, the gained experience, or the cocaine, I was becoming more comfortable with my sexuality. After having only had sex with one man for the four previous years, I had now had sex with seven men in a matter of six months - not counting my ex-boyfriend. My sexuality was no longer stifled, and I craved more. To be honest, I enjoyed the attention. Sex was validation that I was desirable, popular, accepted - all things I wanted to be. I was also enjoying the sexual variety my life had been lacking before. I had listened to friends recount their various experiences: hook-ups, men, dick sizes. I had always been jealous but also comfortable with my (then) boyfriend. I could now join that conversation. Speaking of conversation, there was plenty of it amongst Jimmy, Kevin, and myself. I found that I became quite talkative when high, not to mention unfiltered. Jimmy and Kevin didn't seem to mind. They were unfiltered themselves despite taking much fewer. "You gonna miss me?" You bet!" she replied, smiling, kissing the end of his nose. "But you're going to be fucking those cute Princeton girls next year, you won't have time to think about old me." And who are you gonna be fucking next year?" My husband," she replied, a little puzzled."No one else?" Tom said with a grin. "Not, say, Arturo Sanders? I know you'll be working with him—he's the total genius of the junior class, taking like four AP courses next year. And he's a hunk. Even Diane thinks he's completely hot; and she hasn't seen him in the locker room like I have."Kathy knew from the look on Tom's face that he was teasing her with that last sentence, waiting for her to ask. She pretended disinterest, but he wasn't fooled.Finally she said, "okay, Tom, and just what did you see in the locker room?"Tom was delighted that she'd given in. "Oh, just that he's really hung. Definitely as big as me, and I think a little bigger." I'm done with high-school boys, Tom," Kathy said casually..
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