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It is a fear born of man against other men. It is spread by word of mouth or media it is repute as much as fact, less urban myth, more warning. What I was feeling was less fear of other men than a fear of the circumstances about me. Unreasoned fear – fear of the unknown – is often derided as childish, ridiculed as primitive or denigrated as less than civilised. On the other hand it is a survival trait. Hormonal, certainly a product of the endocrynal system, for less sophisticated ancestors it was a useful signal – a suggestion that now is the time to leave, not hang around, come back later. As well as opposable thumbs, speech and fire it is one of the things that lifted us from the beasts. But this was a fear that stemmed from the known, or rather the known unknown, as it was become. This was a part of the town I knew but now didn’t, I didn’t recognise it for what it was in daylight. I was lost in my own knowledge. This was not now the city that I knew. For all of it’s faults, it’s. He moaned again, andlet out a long sigh, and for a minute, we just stayed that way, me on myknees, the world's newest cocksucker, my hand covered in cum, and Rick,leaning back, spent and very satisfied. Grabbing a towel, his wipedhimself and my hand, saying, "God, that was incredible!"The guilt set in almost immediately. Both of us felt really awkwardabout what we had done. I had sucked another guy's cock! From now on,if any of my buddies jokingly called me a cocksucker, I would know in myheart that it was true. I felt like I had betrayed something, and afterthat day, Rick and I didn't talk to one another for a long time. Butlate at night, all alone, dressed in a pair of my sister's panties andnightie, I would jerk off, picturing Rick's cock in front of me, and howit had felt to have it sliding over my lips, realizing how nasty andwrong it was, but thrilled by it too, loving that I had done somethingthat only girls were supposed to do. It was a few weeks later when Rick.
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