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... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub. ... the collection plates are hubcaps from a '56 Chevy. ... instead of bells, you are called to service by a duck call. ... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks. ... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill". ... that "Thou shall not covet" thing applies to huntin' dogs, too.This one is compliments of Earl JohnA young couple, were just back from their honeymoon, and settling in to a life of married bliss when ... The first Monday morning back, the young wife suddenly slaps her husband, very hard, as they lay there sleeping. While they are having breakfast he asks her why she did it. She denies any such action.The next morning is a repeat with the husband again being woken with a hard slap and a black eye that is a real hoot at work later. And again the wife denies any responsibility.Wednesday morning the same thing is about to. Don't get me wrong, Susan is fucking hot. I would hit that three times a day of I could.She blames me, but I don't see it. She says I try to hard to fuck her and that turns her off. But I went six months without trying last year....subject never came up. Its like Susan just doesn't have a sex drive.A few weeks ago I got spam email for something called the 'Splitter'. Normally I would have deleted it, but I was desperate. The attached video never explained what the product was, just that it was designed to kick-start the sex drive of married couples who has 'lost that spark'. When I showed it to Susan she said it was probably just a porno, but since we had been offered an 'exclusive free offer' we might as well try.Two weeks later, here it was."Just open it," Susan said at last.I opened the package to find a hand written note and what looked like two Bluetooth ear pieces. Not really what we expected.She was expecting a porn dvd. I really thought it would some kinky sex toy. She picked.
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