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Coming home has never been such a hotly anticipated part of my day.The silence of my private sanctum embraces me, takes hold of me pulling me deeper inside.I switch on the soft interior illumination and walk straight through the spacious apartment, eyes focused on one thing... is he there? Ohhhhh please let him be there.The dizziness I feel from my restricted breathing makes my body only too aware of how addicted I have become to this part of my life, to this man. Drawing back the sheer window coverings, I stand there looking out into the night trying to focus on the building opposite mine, my attention on one window in particular.When did I become aware of my audience? When did my body start craving the indecent, depraved need I had to share myself with a stranger? My secretive, shameful secret excites me beyond an acceptable level I know. I have found a whole new life with him, because of him.My eyes widen as a movement catches my eyes. Yes he is there - he is always there! He. We both said hello and then there was a short and very awkward silence that lasted for about 30 seconds. He finally broke the silence and got right to the point. "I was wondering if you were in the mood to fool around with me since I'm really in the mood to do that." I asked "you mean right now?" And he replied yes to that.I had many doubts about "fooling around" - with Josh or with any other guy too since I thought my gay days were all in my past and I hadn't felt any significant gay sex desires since I left home the previous September. And fooling around with Josh meant fooling around with our past and the emotions that came with it. But of course my answer to his proposition was "Sure. But where?" "Where?" was a problem since this wasn't happening on weekday after school when his house was more often than not otherwise empty and available for us to get naked and fool around with each other. It was Saturday afternoon and both our houses were full - everyone was home and everyone.
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