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The people closest to me all seem to die on my birthday or a few days after it.This was going to be the first, and only, public message from me. Stan and I worked on this together in January. We talked about what he wanted me to say. Some of these words are his. Several days after he died, I was writing to a close personal -- real life -- friend. I put ten words together at the top of my message. Then I cried for a long time. It was cathartic. So I shared those words with a few electronic friends; people I'd been close to since the bulletin boards shut down, and everybody migrated to the World Wide Web. Once I did that, I decided to share my thoughts with the rest of you. I wrote:StanHe diedI wasn't readyI know he wasOnce I laid that grief on you, I felt better. You've been most gracious in your comments, both public and private, but now I'm embarrassed to have taken up so much bandwidth on an off-topic message.This is a message of great joy, and a message of extreme sadness. I'm sad. “So, what now,” he said.“It might be uncomfortable at first, but no more neglecting him. He’s going to be getting visits and invitations, low key visits, even if he says he’d rather not. Frankly, I’d rather be arguing with him, even on a daily basis than worrying about him on a nightly basis,” she said.“Okay. And Candace and Daniel need to be brought in on the effort, and maybe Beatrice too,” he said.“Yes, for sure,” she said.“You know, Bea dates some, but do you know if she’s hooked up or looking to be with any guy long term?” he said.“Huh? Are you suggesting... ?” she started.“Just a thought, just a thought. They get along good. I mean, well, what do you think?” he said.“I think that us trying to get him and Marian together turned out to be not so good an idea,” she said.“Yes, but us giving her the half million in the effort was a big ass mistake, queered the whole thing,” he said.“You have a point, but even so. Messing with his private life, and that especially so soon after.
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