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“Mr. Jones, would you mind if I went swimming in my underwear?” asked Brittany, then she burped loudly and I realized that she was probably a little drunk.“Why, there’s no need for that,” stammered my dad, his face growing red with embarrassment. “I’m sure Josh’s mom has a suit that would fit you.”“Uh, that’s a little weird to wear someone else’s bathing suit,” complained Brittany. “What’s the big deal if I just strip down to my underwear and swim in that? Would it make you nervous?” She jumped up and walked toward the pool, unzipping her shorts as she went.“No, of course not, dear,” stammered my father, his face growing even more flushed as looked at my girlfriend with her fly undone and her shorts sliding down her hips. “It’s just, not really, uh, proper. But I can go inside if you want.” He made a move to climb out of his chair, but Brittany lithely dashed over and pushed him back playfully. He fell back with a harumph and gave me a desperate look.“Oh I wouldn’t dream of. ”There was a young lady from PrenticeWho had an affair with a dentist.To make things easierHe used anesthesia,And diddled her, `non compos mentis’.There was a young man with a prickWhich into his wife he would stickEvery morning and nightIf it stood up all rightNot a very remarkable trick.His wife had a nice little cunt:It was hairy, and soft, and in front,And with this she would fuck him,Though sometimes she’d suck himA charming, if commonplace, stunt.There was a young man from PurdueWho was only just learning to screw,But he hadn’t the knack,And he got too far backIn the right church, but in the wrong pew.A young lady sat on a quay,Just as propper as propper could be.A young fellow goosed her,And roughly seduced her,So she thanked him and went home to tea.I once was annoyed by a queerWho made his intentions quite clear.Said I, “I’m no prude,So don’t think me rude,But I’m already stewed, screwed, and tattooed.”A young wife in the outskirts of ReimsPreferred frigging to going to.
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