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Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there’s a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses ... On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.Then the priest came in. I said to him: “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”He replied: “You moron, you’re on my side.”This is compliments of John A.Never ask a woman how she is doing when she is eating ice cream out of the carton.Why don’t I have any tattoos? for the same reason you do not put bumper stickers on a Ferrari.I want it all and I want it delivered. Bette Midler.I might wake up early and go running. I may wake up and find I that I won the lottery. Same odds.I put some Irish whisky in my coffee, BECAUSE IT’S IRELAND SOME WHERE.I WONDER WHY WE ARE SO OBSESSED WITH FINDING LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS WHEN IT IS DIFFICULT. 243million, another stunning figure I would look to splurge completely on houses and cars. It was three o’clock, though, when I entered an estate agent in Central London that was selling lots of apartments, studios and penthouses for anything from half a million to ten million pounds. I whistled at that penthouse, a twenty-fifth floor massive apartment about five times the size of my house in a prime location right on the business end of The Thames. The estate agent smiled at me. ‘Would you like a viewing?’ he asked. ‘Can’t afford ten million,’ I replied. ‘Well, we can take 50% deposit if you’d prefer.’ It didn’t take much consideration, I had the five million necessary to have the keys by dinnertime, and if I signed up on a low-interest high-payment mortgage deal, I could be in full ownership in just months. ‘Yes,’ I replied. ‘Yes, I’d like a viewing.’ Forget dinnertime, it was half four when I was making the wire transfer for five million direct to the estate agent who had.
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