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"This bloke's dick is so small he can only fuck ants." She gave a titter of nervous laughter."At least I don't use it to bugger little boys, or turd burgle babies, you nonce." My reply was a direct hit. His face went a furious scarlet and his eyes bulged with rage. "I'm going to fucking kill you, you bastard," he bellowed.He grabbed a bottle off the table with his right hand — oh bollocks, was he ambidextrous? — then came out of his seat like a fighting bull charging into a bullring. As he got from the alcove he changed the bottle to his left hand.Phew, what a relief.I back pedalled and shouted over my shoulder. "Get the police. This man wants to kill me." Hancock was already on the phone, he must have reached for it as soon as Hodge uttered his threat; in fact due to the volume of Hodge's bellowing most of the pub would have heard him.He swung at me with the bottle, employing a back hand stroke of which Pete Sampras would have been proud. And from then on the whole thing went as. “Sorry, Mom. I thought I could fuck you without waking you up.”Lisa’s first instinct was to scold him, but then reality kicked in. “It’s okay, Sweety. Just take it slow. Mommy’s a bit sore.”Not wanting to cause her any pain, plus the fact that he wanted to try something new, Josh wasn’t sure if he should even bring it up.“Mom, do you think maybe, umm, well, I was wondering...”“What is it Baby?” Lisa was surprised by her son’s embarrassment. What could there be that he was too afraid to ask?“Could you give me a titty fuck?”Of course her son wanted a titty fuck. Lisa assumes every guy she meets wants a titty fuck. Why would her son be any different? Lisa lost it. She started laughing uncontrollably, which caused Josh to pull out and away.She slowly calmed herself. “Sorry Honey for laughing, but with what we have been doing, I find it funny you would be embarrassed to ask me for a titty fuck.”Lisa pulled them both into a sitting position. “Slide your feet over on to the floor. Mommy is.
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