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I paid, entered and went straight to the men's roomto change. Even though I had brought everything I wore the same outfitas the night before. I didn't yet feel comfortable enough to wear theskirt and thigh boots. After checking my bag I made a quick andthorough tour but did not see Tanya. I did see some of the same peoplefrom the night before. The two women from the bedroom scene the nightbefore were in the military scene tonight, only they were watching twomen. One man was dressed in army fatigues; the other was in nurse'suniform. The nurse was taking the soldier's temperature, rectally. Onewoman idly played with the barbell nipple of the tattooed woman as shewatched. Fewer of the alcoves were in use tonight and in general theclub seemed less crowded, but it was still early.By the time I returned past the chain link area there was a woman indoc martins, purple and green streaked hair and black lipstick and nailpolish standing there with a body builder in a T-shirt and jeans.. Baby clothes andeverything were girls. I doubt I had any idea when I was swimming in thewomb as to what she was praying and preparing. My fate was destined. But Mothers can change the fate. I came into this life as a boy. It wasn't my fault, and as a baby I doubtI really knew what I was. I didn't know at that time, but my mother wentthrough a depression. She seen I was a boy and she felt that life hasfailed her. I was meant to be a girl. What happened? Why did God abandonher? I feel sorry for my mother, which set her hopes up and wasdisappointed and depressed when I came out. It must be hard for her toexperience a depression and feel disappointed that I was a boy, not agirl. She must have thought about the nursery and girl clothes. What awaste of money. What a waste of hope. ? Life goes on, and after some time, my mother realized that she loved meand will always love me. Decades after, with all the sins I have done.This is very true. My mother's love has never disappeared, no matter.
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