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His point of view as to everything ‘working ok’ was easy: ‘when I get home I want the food ready, dishes, bedroom and living room clean’. Certainly, he wanted it all clean and ready however he was a mess himself, HELL, he was THE MESS. Now I’m free of him, I’m free! I am still half awake, thinking all this when a joyful moan comes out of my mouth and then I open my eyes…I still don’t know what makes you say ‘oh God’ but if it is with this man, I’m willing to learn it…He is a good professor already. I thought I wasn’t worth feeling like this, but he is showing me differently. Here I am looking at a real man… what a technique to wake me up, kisses all over my body. He looks at me with those beautiful golden eyes…they are so clear today from the amber eyes I’ve seen before, is something wrong? Is he worried? Although no words come out of his mouth, his eyes are asking me if I’m all right with this so, I smile and he said: ‘good morning’. That was all I needed to hear, he is ok and his. “Oh hey, wanna fag?” Dave offered. Bets smiled and reached forward to take one from the offered packet. Dave stared sharply for a moment at the boy who clicked open a lighter for her.Daya stepped past the crowd who were now clustered around Bets and Dave. She glanced back at her friend, bemused. Then Daya’s eyes turned to us and settled on Helen and her look hardened.Helen released my hand and grabbed her bottle by the neck, tugging it from my loose grip. She swung it, bottom outwards, towards Daya: the sign of the younger girl currying with the older. They started talking, cautiously at first, and soon I was forgotten, Daya being more advantageous to befriend, perhaps, than me.No more mention or offer of blow-jobs was given and I fell to the wayside, not included in Helen’s conversation. Left out of things, my mature pity slowly ebbed away as I stole more admiring glances at Helen’s assets and coveted her potential availability, and I began to kick myself for not taking advantage of.
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