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A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again.For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.He paused for a moment and then started to leave.The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be. She told me that they had not had sex in 3 months. Well I knew that was a sign, she was acting down in the dumps and acted like she was crying. So what was a man supposed to do. I moved over to her and put my hand on her shoulder. That was all it took and she was planting kisses on me. Well what do you figure happened next. I reached my hand down her blouse and grabbed a luscious tit with huge nipple and slid it out of her blouse. Then I started to suck on it, her tits were not huge but bigger then average. We were both turned on by then. Before I knew it she was unzipping by pants and pulling out my hard dick. So I in turn finished removing her blouse and bra and she then slid out of her jeans and underwear. I had stuck my fingers in her pussey by then and her juices were flowing like a foutain. She then came right out and aked me to fuck her. I thought OMG what I have got into, screwing my best friends wife. So I got on top her and started to stick it in, but then stopped and asked.
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