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I'm teetering on a precipice of something and yet insideI'm still thinking like a guy. There's no mental shift. I'm... what didyou call it? A Chimera? Part one thing and part the other. My boy mind isat war with all the girl hormones washing around in my body." Yeah, I feel that too. There's a weird energy to being in your body.Something to do with the chemicals being pumped into my brain. It's maybemore aggressive..." Simone paused. "No, that's not it. That's too simple.Not aggression, but focus and drive, I'm not sure. This man-shape is allreally alien to me. It's like a holiday in a foreign country," she said."I'm enjoying it but I don't want to live there."* * *Sunday dawned. I woke late, to the distant car door clunk as the Coopers'neighbors drove to church. Light lancing between the curtains picked outdust motes drifting aimlessly about Simone's bedroom.I had a premonition something was wrong. Not a certainty, but an uneasyfeeling in the pit of my stomach told me that something. Good for you. Go to other side, think. Then come back to me.’‘Wonderful idea. You know me.’‘No, Alexa. You too complicated. But I know you like swim and sit on rocks on other side. Go.’I hugged him deeply and kissed the side of his face. I walked backwards, smiling at him as I went further into the water. Then turning, I dove under the surface and came up stroking. He was right, this was what I needed. Using my body and swimming used most of my body. As I had to focus on my stroke and breathing, my mind relaxed and I relaxed. I stopped over half way and looked to the shore. b**st was still sitting there watching me. I waved to him. He lay down on the sand and continued to watch. I reached the other side and climbed out over the rocks to the ocean side. My body feeling alive and fatigued. I sat down on a large rock and looked out over the ocean to the far horizon of just water. Like anyone anywhere, I gazed out over the water at the endless horizon. Why do we do that? Everyone I had.
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