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Sometimes, I don't understand it either, but I love him. I have to know he's Ok, that he's walking around in clean clothes and he's getting lots of good food so the booze doesn't kill him too soon. If I did decide to take him back, it would only be something between him and me. If I did though, it would be for me, not for him. I can't sleep at night, Jackie. It's worse than when he was away in the War. Then I knew I couldn't do anything but wait and pray for him. Now, he's not that far away. I know him, the bastard, he's not doing a single thing to take care of himself. He's letting all those years I've spent taking care of him, trying to keep him from drinking himself to death, he's letting it all be for nothing. He'll be dead in a year or two if I don't look after him, and we have to hurry before he's just pissed it all away." Ma, what about your pride, what about what people will think?" Do you really think I care what they think or say, Jackie? Do they pay my bills or keep me. . However, this is real.. No bullshit.I met her in college in New Hampshire. She was very nieve and would believe anything I told her. I was a senior. She was a freshman. We made through college without any crazy sex stories. I was a pervert and she had no idea. She fell in love with me to her own demise.We married, moved to the mid-atlantic. I ran a successful business and she was my wife. We had a couple k**s., etc.One nite drinking wine I suggested to her that I fantasized about seeing her with other guys. That nite she blew it off as if I were crazy. A few days later she asked if I were serious. Trying not to upset or insult her I answered very diplomatically. I may have said something like, " your so hot I just feel like it's unfair that I'm the only guy that gets to have you."That was the seed that grew within her own pyschic. She brought it up every time I fucked her. While I fucked her she would constantly tell me things like " you better be careful what you.
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