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I toyed with my options for filling the day, not daring to dwell on the fact that this was only the first day of seven until Sue returned. If she returned.What were my options? Read a book? Watch a movie or the TV? Go and see a friend? Long neglected domestic chores? Get drunk? The last two seemed the best, activity or oblivion being the best way to blot out the horror that was my new reality.I poured myself a very large whiskey and downed half the glass with one gulp, and then I headed to the bookcase. I needed something to occupy my mind until the anesthetic of the alcohol started working. There it was, even in my despair the irony somehow cheering me as I came to the part of the shelf for Dostoevsky. It was a toss up which one I’d start re-reading before the whiskey dulled my pain.‘Crime and Punishment’ certainly seemed appropriate. But then again, maybe ‘The Idiot’ would be a more fitting penance for the foolish man that looked back at me from the mirror. But finally, I picked up. The Mediterranean is beautiful, especially with the reflection of the moon dancing on the surface. There's a lull in our conversation, but I don't mind since I'm taking in the view. "You know I love you Heidi." "I love you too Zaid!" "No, I don't think you get it. I am in love with you, always have been." I'm in shock. I know in Egypt it's okay for cousins to marry and it's not even uncommon, but being raised in the States it's something I never even thought about. I'm really not good under pressure and I try to think of something to say that won't hurt him, that won't make things awkward between us the rest of the summer, and won't make him hate me. "I love you, you're like a brother to me," The look on his face tells me I chose exactly the wrong words. "You're a great guy, and any girl would be lucky..." "Save it." "No I'm serious! It's just that, well I'm American. It's not okay there, so I've never thought of you in that way and..." "It's fine I said save it! We should get.
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