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"German," she replies."Occupation?" No, just here for a few days."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered "the local cafe serves breakfast until 11."Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said, "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?" You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That tosser next door has still got my bloody shovel."A man is seeking to join. I am going to take a series of measurements which will show us thebasic requirements of your, shall we say, repackaging."Jim faced Claudia with his face down, but with an air of expectancy andcuriosity, which I found very endearing in a man in his position.Claudia took her measurements professionally, with Jim abiding by herevery instruction. When not told to do otherwise, Jim held his armscrossed over his naked breasts in genuine female modesty.Without turning around, Claudia called over her shoulder, "Wendy, find aLongline in a 36B, please! I know you are lurking there. Make yourselfuseful. We will start with a nice Longline Bra. The poor boy has nothingto cover his tits with! His nipples have goose bumps!"I hustled to find an appropriate longline bra for my husband. Really wasa great way to introduce the poor guy into the wonderful world of "overthe shoulder boulder holders" as some of my more IQ challenged maleclassmates has termed them in the 8th grade. You could not get.
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