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Shelly started weeping and I released her arms and pulled her to me and held her while she cried into my shoulder. When the sobs subsided I gently kissed her on the forehead. ‘I did care for you. I cared deeply for you, but you knew that I loved my wife. It was you who kept telling me that I was going to go back to her. I know that I kept saying ‘No way in hell’ and that you were wrong, but I guess you knew me better than I knew myself. ‘As for the break? It had to be that way. Neither of us could have handled a lengthy goodbye. I felt that it would be best to make a clean, hard break and do it in such a way that it would make you mad. Make you mad enough to hate me, make you hate me enough to put me behind you so the you could get on with your life.’ ‘Well it didn’t work. I got mad all right, and I did get on with my life, but I never got over you. You were the yardstick I measured all other men against and they all came up lacking. It wasn’t until I met David that I found some one. (Bitch) So I logged back in here and couldn’t remember who I talked to most, who I had made true friends with, if any. So I thought, "Sod it, Chat Rooms." Of course, now I had had my first non-straight experience in my life, I felt that I couldn’t just stick to the Bedroom or the Lounge, and decided that the next best place to visit was the Ladies Room. And my, did I enjoy my first trip to the Ladies Room. Though, that is one that I won’t be sharing with you. A few more trips into the Ladies Room and I became aware that suddenly, I preferred it. The women so much more friendly there, the solidarity when a guy entered the room, the joy as he was successfully kicked… Ahhh. This was more my style. Then one day a little while after I first entered, a name I remembered from the regular chat rooms from before I took a break on Lush… You know who you are. You talked to me, you made friends with me, like nobody else had before. I found myself falling for you. Then after we chatted more.
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