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She is about 5’9” and has long brown hair and is shockingly pretty but I was never attracted to her. Or so I thought. “So, how are you today?” she asked me.“I’m excited and good!”“Why are you excited?” Alyssa asked me.“Because I only have two sessions left. I love you Alyssa but it’s time to move on with my life. You have really helped me and I think I’m ready.” I replied.“You love me?” she asked me quizzically. “Yeah like one friend to another friend would, don’t be weird.”“Yeah sorry just wanted to be sure.”After that it was pretty normal until the end. Before we ended she asked me a question.“Can I ask you a weird and personal question?”I nodded.“Do you masturbate?”What the hell? Does she have the right to ask me that question? Then, all of a sudden, I got turned on thinking about masturbating to Alyssa. Did I have feelings for her?“No that’s crazy!!!” I thought to myself and the feelings faded.“Yeah sometimes.”“Do you think about boys or girls when you do?”“Well it switches for. Can you understand that for a long long time I believed I was alone in these thoughts ? The intensity never ever waned but I did begin to think that I was alone in the world.. Discovering such artists as Dolcett has changed my life completely... Knowing that there are people who have the same desires as me, who long to be willingly killed, who desperately need to give themselves totally, and that there are others who would enjoy this, and who understand this, is amazing to me.Can you understand how I would stand before you when the time came, I would be naked of course, but not restrained in any way, and you would hold the knife in front of you... I would look at you longingly in the eyes, wondering is this the time or are you teasing me again...? I would push my tummy forward, touching the point, kissing the point with my willing belly, tasting the first pleasure...I would begin to gently pump my stomach onto the knife, moving closer so that it dug deeper into me, my pulse rising as.
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