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’A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’ The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be. It started many convesations on summer nights when everyone left to do their own thing (he was a little heavy and was the target of teasing so he was alone many nightsecame closer)It eventually leaded to him showing me nudie magazines and telling me what he'd like to do with each girl. I loved hearing his fantasies. When I got hot I took out my dick and although I was just turning 11 I shot a nice load about 4-5 fet in length! He would just rub his dick through his pants and cum in his underwear. He would open his zipper to show me hot wet his underwear was from cumming in them. I wanted to see his dick but I think he was ashamed that it was only about 4-5 inches at that time.We would go down to his basement in the apt building jhe lived in and we would talk about girls and jerk off. Iloved seeing his dick popping out through his pants. Once he grabbed my hand hand tried to ake me touch it-I fought back because i didn't want him to think I Did Want It. Just when I was ready to let.
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