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Now that I was on my own, I indulged in dressing frequently. I neverwent out in public, of course, but would spend days as a female,relishing the silky softness of woman's clothing. I had learned to dowonders with my hair, which I had grown out, of course. I spent hoursperfecting makeup. Learning to do my own nails was very difficult forme. I was ok lacquering my left hand but doing the right took lots ofpractice. Any way, there I sat, wearing a long sleeved sweater and a matchingskirt, wondering where my life was going. I worked from home andactually did quite well. It seemed as though dressing was the onlyexcitement in my life. I know it could have been worse.The phone rang and it was my friend Mary. She and Mark had been so kindto me in my loss and regularly checked up on me. "Alex, how have you been," Mary said when I answered. "Hi Mary, I've been ok. Things are fine."It felt odd to be fully made up, dressed and coiffed while I spoke withher on the phone."I just. She wasn’t looking forward to unloading the last of her things from the moving van, but she was certainly ready to end the ordeal of packing up her life and moving it across two states.As soon as she finished her drink, she stood up with a sigh. An hour or so later, her bed and computer desk were set up amongst a mountain of boxes in her old room – one of several such mountains she’d have to deal with over the next few days.Seeing her eyes drooping, Nick suggested, “Just get some sleep. You can deal with all of this in the morning.”Too tired to argue, she bid her brother goodnight and prepared for bed.**Upon waking in the morning, Amanda moved to her computer to check her email before she was even fully awake, as she did every morning. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and stretched as she clicked through to her inbox.When she saw the reply to the last email she’d sent, she bit her lower lip and wondered if she’d ever have the courage to open it. She still couldn’t believe.
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