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She's so relaxed. She's enjoying being looked at." Had I said too much? Did I catch just the slightest flicker of his eye towards my crotch? Had he divined my dampness? Thank God I was wearing a skirt, and not flimsy cotton trousers. I continued. I felt I could say anything to him. If he understood as much about life as he'd shown me he did about art. If he understood women's minds as well as he understood this body in front of us..."It's just." I tried to find words."If men have got glamorous bodies like that to look at, what hope is there that they'll want to look at girls like... us?" I can only speak for myself. I'd much rather see a real live body than one on canvas. And, as you say yourself, bodies are to be celebrated. All of them. In any case, if I paint someone I want her to look real. I like this painting because she's real, not because she's glamorous. I hate glamour magazines, even fashion magazines, if they do everything they can to disguise the real woman." What was so. We waited a year before I took the legal advisor position--not wanting a direct tie to my failure with the rape case associated with my new employer--though the fact of his conceiving the victim never came out. Problem was it could have. Having not been given the partnership because of my failure and being given lesser clients to defend which I did the best I could until my divorce rocked my ability to put myself whole heartedly into defending, quitting the company seemed inevitable. The year delay also allowed me to familiarize myself with contract law and other aspects of law the King required which I studied before but never experienced directly. I actually began working for the King clandestinely to familiarize myself with his needs and to demonstrate my capabilities within a month after the trial.Bess avoided me during the trial--though her presence couldn't be ignored. The only time we spoke after she stopped by my office she whispered in my ear early during the trial, "I know.
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