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"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just keep coming.Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies."A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier drinking. "Oh, I mean, yeah, of course I studied before that! I just meant that I reviewed it for one hour last night!"Jackie looked down at her test score. Perfect marks, as always. She learned from many years of experience that it was easy to hide how effortless it was from her friends."Anyway, I have to get changed for practice," Lisa grabbed her papers and stuffed them into her gym bag. "See you girls later!" Bye Lisa! But really, Jackie, are you going to go stag to prom?" Marie asked."I've never thought about it, okay!? Maybe if it were easy for me to get a boy, like you or Lisa," Jackie mused."Lisa is a total hottie, of course. But she works out every day. What do you expect? But I can help you take care of appearance and teach you how to flirt. I mean, you have to take care of yourself! You can't spend all your time studying! Besides, we already got into college, so what's the point?" Fine, I'll think about it!" Jackie said, just to get Marie off her case.But as Jackie lay in bed that.
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