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This confused me a bit, I'll admit; I wasn't sure if what I was hearing was really what she wanted, or just hot talk; on the other hand, I wasn't sure if what I was saying wasn't really what I wanted. But it was too good to question, neither one of us wanted to ruin the good thing we had going. So we simply went with it. We called each other 8 more times during the next 2 weeks. We were both addicted to playing with ourselves while talking dirty to each other on the phone. I always asked her what she was wearing and eventually asked me what I wanted her to wear. I usually said 'just bra and panties', because of that one time a few years back when I had accidentally walked in on her in the bathroom and caught her in her underwear. That image has been forever etched in my mind…I visualized her that way each time we started out. One time she was begging me, practically screaming at me, to come home and fuck her. The intensity if her cries (and my boner) almost had me on my feet, but. I'd wanted to get back out there and find love or, these days, just have a man touch me. But I've always found some excuse not to go through with it. Afraid? Maybe. Ultra-shy and no confidence whatsoever with my body? Hell yes. 8:15 a.m. I had about an hour until I needed to be at work, but I wanted to enjoy a nice breakfast along with a nice cup of coffee. If I was late they would understand. As I sat at the table drinking my coffee, I found myself deep in thought. "I am forty-five years old today," I said to myself. "Is this year going to be any different than the last? Will I do something new and adventurous? Will I get the courage to date again and stop being so damn lonely?" The answer to each of those questions was a resounding "No." I sighed heavily and went up to my room to get ready for work. As I walked towards my closet something caught my eye in the full-length mirror near my dresser. It was me, or rather it was my butt. Nowadays, a white woman with a round ass was.
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