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“Not good, sir, we got sign in every direction. These warriors were starving in the foothills. The tribes have gathered and they are down to eating their horses because the buffalo are all dead. Hope you don’t mind us sharing our rations with them. They are not interested in shooting white men and only want to get some supplies together to head back north.”I looked over at the men in the shadows. They kept their heads down and I didn’t blame them in the least little bit. It was like they sensed the debacle soon to follow and they didn’t want to be held accountable for any payback coming their way. I would have done the same thing in their position and staged a full retreat to a safer place away from the chaos of the coming conflict.The fort was the center of chaos as rumors of the Indian uprising spread faster than manure on humid afternoon.The new recruits were running around like a bunch of ants stirred up by a herd of horses. I corralled most of my men and we moved outside to a. "The women with snakes with hair will deal with this!" he shouted, and left to get them.I tried to stop him, but I ran into a tree. Or a wall, or a grizzly bear perhaps.The women with snakes for hair came up to me quietly, like invisible smoke that is so invisible it's probably computer-generated. One tapped me on the shoulder."Abe?" she said. "You'd better come with us."CHAPTER TWO: THE REVENGE OF ABRAHAM LINCOLNSo there I was, strapped to a chair, stripped naked and blind as a bat. I could hear snakes hissing near my face as the snake-haired women did their teasing, seductive dance.Then someone turned on the light."Good God!" I exclaimed. "I can see!"The snake-haired women looked at me in kind of a funny way. "For the fifth time," one said. "You weren't blind. It was just really dark in here." Oh," I said. "So why aren't I turning into stone?" Because people turning into stone is impossible," said the snake-haired woman. "Unless you're some kind of woman with snakes for hair, of.
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