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Jack was obviously a very intelligent man. He had graduated high school with a 4.2 GPA, got into his college with a full ride scholarship, and was studying history. He hated math, he said, which was a bit disappointing, but he loved writing, and said he would love to look at a few of my stories. I sent back my response the next day, and so our correspondence began. Over the next few months Jack became my obsession. He seemed exceedingly kind and patient: he would read and respond to my little teenage self-absorbed rants. He was so logical in his approach to life that it was a relief to me, as I felt so much emotion that had no direction and being given a logical explanation for how I felt at times was exactly what I needed. But he was always withdrawn in some way. He didn’t trust me, even though I close to trusted him completely at an emotional level. In one letter I glimpsed the first real emotion – he talked about how much he loved his mother. I wished so much that that emotion,. " I giggled. "You knew that better than I did. What I did with the guys was okay, but not as much fun as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, JR, I'm not sorry I did it, but with Kimmy there was something there that I didn't feel with the guys." Something you'd like to do again?" JR asked."I don't know, maybe. I didn't plan anything that we did—they just happened. I don't think I would have as much fun if it had been planned, or expected." I didn't expect you to do anything, Honey." I know, not your expectations, mine. I'm not sure that things would have been as much fun if I had planned what I was going to do because what happened might not have measured up. When things just happen, there's no expectations, no disappointments." That makes sense, I never thought about that. What made fooling around with Kimmy so different, other than what you've said?" JR asked."You, having you as part of it is what made it so exciting for me. When I saw you screwing Kimmy I felt a little.
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