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It was their throne of glory. Glory of how much money they had. It was a dream house, the kind people walk through and dreamed about. Three stories, clean carpets, newly painted walls, a confusing lay out that would get Christopher Colombus lost, stairs every where, chairs no one was allowed to sit in, abstract paintings that looked like a mental patients did them, tables with a layout of frame pictures and candles, oriental rugs, sculpture of retarded tribe men, hard wood floors made to make your business shoes click just in that right way and all that pretentious bullshit. Living in it, I felt like a bull in a fine china store. No matter how careful I was, there was always something I did wrong. I could never be clean enough, never invisible enough, never gentle enough. As you would guess, my parents were rather ashamed of my chubbiness. Both of them were rather athletic and both of them had their own sympathy look they gave me when they were reminded I was chubby. They only let. So when the request to have a debater meet with the Superintendent of Schools was made, it was granted. Ms. Hammer explained to him that I was the best debater in the class and would be arguing the part of the School Board while the part of the students would be argued by a girl she suspected of being a bit of a cry-baby. She convinced him that it would be the perfect opportunity for the School Board to show how much they care about the students by judging the debate. Dr. Dewey was all too happy to indoctrinate me. He lectured and waved sheets of paper around, though he never showed one to me directly. My head was full of so many mini-quotes that it was about to explode. Fortunately, Mom brought me a mini cassette player from her office and I was able to record the interview. Dr. Dewey went so far as to introduce me to the Chairman of the School Board who further explained the Board's position in terms of campaign slogans. That's when I discovered I hadn't been paying close enough.
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