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Beth started walking slowly again and said ‘Jen, that’s up to you. It’s time to start living again. For six years I’ve watched you go through the motions, but you haven’t been alive inside. You locked yourself away after that night, you date, until they get close, and then you run from them. You ran from Valdosta to Savannah, ran from college, and now your want to run from Bill because he demands you give him everything.’ Jennifer said ‘Wait a minute, your telling me to do it?’ Beth said ‘Jennifer, do you really love him?’ ‘Yes, I do Beth, you know I do.’ ‘Jen, he told you he loved you, and he wants your entire heart, not just whatever you feel safe giving him. So do you believe he loves you?’ ‘Yeah, I guess so.’ ‘Can you walk away, because you know if you say no, you can’t stay and just work for him. That’s why he gave you the recommendation letters. He knows it too, if you say no, you can’t go back. Can you walk away Jen?’ Beth asked her. ‘I don’t know, Beth I just don’t know.’. Mendoza appeared to be relatively prosperous. Like everything else in Las Cruces, it was in a fairly new adobe building and covered in fresh stucco, but unlike most of the others, there was glass in the windows and the top half of the door. There was a wood floor, instead of the packed dirt floor I’d been expecting, and a wooden counter near the front door with a doorway behind it draped in beads leading back into the interior of the building. Dinner was the best I’d ever had. It was really good, and really cheap. A big plate of enchiladas and beans left me full, and ready for a stroll around town.It was dark by this time, and I simply wandered up and down the dusty streets trying to work off that full feeling. I ignored the saloons. The three that I saw, looked not worth the effort, since I wasn’t much of a drinker, couldn’t stand the taste of beer, and the scotch I had back at the RV was certainly going to be better than what was available in a raw 1850 frontier town.The Drover’s.
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