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I left, in tears, halfway through the service. After that, I never saw Lindaagain; she passed away in 1995.I'm sorry - I get this way sometimes. I'm ok now. What where we talkingabout?Oh yes - kick-the-can!For the last two weeks, I've had the most amazing dreams. I know we'vediscussed my nightmares before (often, in excruciating detail), but thesedreams are as delightful as they are vivid.Always, I find myself eight years old again. I'm leaving home for thetwo-block walk to St. Agnes' Elementary School, when I hear a cheery "C'mon,Let's Go! If we don't hurry, we won't have time to play kick-the-can beforethe bell!" I look down to discover I'm wearing a red plaid jumper, whiteblouse and knee socks, and Mary Janes so shiny you can see the perfect bluesky reflected in my toes. At the end of the walk is Linda, as I know she musthave looked when she was in third grade. Skinny, in pigtails, with a toothmissing, she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life.The first night. Why are women giving up bowling for screwing?The balls are lighter and you don’t have to change your shoes.What’s the difference between a job and a wife?After five years, the job still sucks.How do you make paper dolls?screw an old bag.What’s the white stuff you find in women’s panties?Clitty litter.Bumper sticker: Support E.R.A. - make him sleep on the wet spot.What do you call a rehabilitation home for ex-prostitutes?An all-the-way house.Definition of a wife: “An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.”How are an oven and a woman alike?You have to get them both hot before you can stick the meat in.Remember what’s worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?Getting fingered by Captain Hook.Well, you know what’s worse than that?Getting eaten out by Jaws.What’s the purpose of a bellybutton?To put your gum in on the way down.Why was the stamp commemorating prostitution so unpopular?You had to pay an extra ten cents to lick it.What’s the difference between a hormone.
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