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I found Donna sitting at ‘our’ table with Nellie who was wet eyed and sad looking. I enquired what was the matter. ‘I’m going to have them off,’ said Nellie. I was not clear what she meant. ‘My tits,’ she said, lifting them pointedly. ‘Nobody ever remembers Nellie the charming barmaid, just Nellie with the big tits. Nobody at work says, “take it to Nellie the first class secretary,” they just say give it to the chest. I’m going to have them reduced.’ ‘Don’t be wet, Nellie,’ said Donna. ‘They are a national monument. That would be like cutting a bit of Winston Churchill’s statue or removing the tips off Tower Bridge.’ I put an arm around Nellie and hugged her. She sobbed. ‘I hate them. It’s as if they are all I am!’ More sobbing. ‘I’m just a pair of boobs with a smile above them if anyone ever bothers to look that high.’ ‘Well,’ said Donna, ‘They do have a certain arresting quality.’ I glared at her. ‘It’s a big decision, Nellie. Why not give it a bit of time. Think about it.’ ‘Good. ‘Buona notte, signorina,’ I responded. She had lost a little more weight. I had heard she joined the spa where my client Jere Pavelitch worked, and enlisted Jere to perform her celebrated airborne-ranger training program. It reduced many a woman to tears, but Molly hung in like a tiger, cursing a streak but working hard. And cutting down on the food and drink. When I ran into Ali MacMurtry, Jere’s generously-proportioned spouse, at the Church we attend, Ali told me that Jere was impressed. Molly had acquired an evening gown to go with her waist, which also did the impossible by flattering her boobs. Molly now looked like a semi-desirable woman. Well, well. We were almost civil to one another during the dinner, which was excellent. Guilio Cesare Reitano, elder son of Don Vincero and owner of Tre Fontini, the best restaurant for fifty miles, catered this affair, and the food was worth the stiff ticket price. And the wine? By the second bottle (cash bar), I had mentally drafted my.
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