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But it doesn’t work.I sit there thinking about you, about what we could be doing or talking about if we were together. I lay at night thinking about how it would be to hold you, to wake up next to you. I know we have done it before but, that was a very long time ago and we have both changed.I’ve tried to tell you how I feel about you, but you’ve never believed me, you still don’t. I don’t blame you; we’ve only been talking again properly for nearly a year. But it’s like we just picked up from where we left off, it’s like my feelings just pick up from where they left off. But let’s be serious, you’re in a relationship now and things seem pretty serious. So, I really shouldn’t be saying half of the things I do. I just can’t seem to help myself though.I never stopped thinking about you, I always used to have the fleeting thought or the odd dream about you. Waking up in a sweat with a very distinct throb between my legs, I would wait until my girlfriend left the room. My hand would trail. .. him.And I know right there that my evening is spoken for.I first saw him about six months ago in a coffee house on aSaturday afternoon with said crew. The guy's a clich?d'tall, dark, handsome'. Sort of guy that could play JamesBond - and I didn't know him from Adam.Thing was though at that moment, I knew I... wanted him.You know ...badly. Which was weird because as I said beforeI'm straight as you can get, had just broken up with mylast girlfriend a week previously... had NEVER had thesefeelings before for a man.Anyway, that day I found myself making my excuses, walkingout of the coffee shop, walking into the lingerie shopacross the road and buying a bra and panty set. After thatI just returned home and hid them away. I seemed to regaincontrol of myself after that, apart from the fact that Ididn't have the slightest inclination to take the underwearback.Anyway - I'm now back in my suburban flat and let me tellyou this, that bra and panty set was only the start - I'mnow facing a.
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