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“What happened to your Lamborghini,” she demanded. “I didn’t hear you coming!”“I’ve got a Chevrolet Spark EV. It’s electric. Almost silent!”“But what about your Lamborghini? You loved that car!”She kindly didn’t call the car what we usually called it - the penis on wheels!“Don’t need it any more,” he replied smugly.“What do you mean, you don’t need it any more?” “Didn’t you wonder what I was doing this past month?”“No, not really,” she answered unfeelingly. “I thought you were just wanking off at home.”Angelo ignored her rude comment. “I was taking a course.”“So you’re a doctor or something now?” she asked sarcastically.“No,” he went on, “I’ve been using the Long Dong Penis Pump.” He began to sing; it was a jingle I’d heard before on the radio. “Thirty days from Omega to Alpha,” he sang. And then came the punch line, “You won’t be short for long!”I couldn’t resist entering the conversation.“You’re kidding,” I exclaimed. “You believe those gadgets do anything?”“You better believe it,”. He lost all energy, all drive, all will to live. He stopped looking after himself, would go for days without getting out of bed, without eating. He ended up in hospital, dehydrated and mostly starved. His children had their own lives and didn’t need the extra burden that he would be. He didn’t want to be in this life anymore. Many years ago he had read a book which said that everyone is able to choose how long they will live. In his arrogant brashness of healthy middle age, whatever that is these days, he had chosen 120 as being a good age to live to – but without his darling Sylvie that was torture – cruel and unusual punishment. ‘Here’s a cup of tea, love,’ said a voice at his shoulder. ‘Oh, I see you’ve had a visitor. Lucky you to have some cookies to go with your tea. Would you like me to open them for you?’ He opened his eyes and looked up into the woman’s kindly face. Her name badge said ‘Luci’ although he always thought it used to end in ‘y’. ‘Thank you for the tea. I’m sure.
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